ever wonder what sort of legacy you're leaving? i've been thinking that a lot lately and i'm not so sure i like my findings. i've gotten to the age where i've said goodbye to far more people than i've witnessed getting married. the only comfort i take in that statement is that i know where each and every one of them is right now. many of them left quite a legacy, some i missed out on getting to know better but i learned of their legacy and some never quite got a chance to leave a legacy, but their smile sticks with me.

when my Gram died back in april, i thought a lot about the times we shared and the things she taught me. she left a solid legacy and touched many lives. i have felt (and still do) a tremendous amount of guilt for the last few years when life got "too busy" and i didn't take the time to visit as often. i tried really hard not to let life "get in the way" once my Grandpa was left alone. they were just shy of their 71st anniversary when Gram passed away.

what a testament to marriage! he did ok for awhile...keeping busy and always going somewhere but we all knew he was terribly lonely.

after ending up in the hospital, making enough of a recovery to go back to his apartment only to end up back in the hospital last night, Grandpa is now in hospice and not long for this earth. i am so thankful that i was able to see him yesterday and that i could hold his hand and sit awhile with him. we didn't speak but a few words. i helped him brush his teeth and rubbed his back when it seemed as if breathing was a great effort. he would doze off here and there and would be speaking to someone...although i couldn't understand everything he said, i could tell he wasn't just talking to himself but to someone else. how i wish i would have asked him who it was he was talking to but i think i know the answer anyway and that brings me great comfort!

i don't know if we "know" each other up in heaven when we get there...in a way it is kind of sad to think that we won't really have the same relationships up there that we have here, but it is awesome to think that by the time we arrive, it won't even matter because we will be with our Lord and Saviour. the one who created us, died for us, watched over us, cried with us, laughed with us, walked with us (even when we weren't walking with Him). the one who showered us with blessings beyond our imagination, who didn't give us what we deserved but instead showed us grace and unending love! we will stand in awe of Him one day and nothing else will matter!

my grandparents were such simple and beautiful examples of a life built on a solid foundation of love and hard work. they were honest and they were loving. sure not every moment of their lives was a hallmark card, but they never let life "get in the way" of the important things.

i want to leave a legacy like that.

Grandpa isn't gone yet but i'm guessing his time is short. i miss him already but i know he's ready to go. he was a great man.